Frankfort day

The longer I walked around Frankfort yesterday, the sadder I was to be missing the Derby celebrations on Saturday. This town goes nuts for it - from Derby hats to mint julep cups, the Governor's breakfast, and free 7 a.m. libations, Frankfort becomes one big party for "the most exciting two minutes in sports." I'm sure it's even nuttier elsewhere in Kentucky, but the fever doesn't quite reach Birmingham - which is probably good for me, as I don't look so great in hats.

Having only one full day in Frankfort, I resolved to cram as much into it as I possibly could. Beginning at 7 a.m., I did the following:

1) Breakfast at a downtown diner that reminded me the Yankee Doodle, minus the attitude.

2) Got the car and drove out to Switzer Covered Bridge, which would be lovely if not for the graffiti.

3) Drove back to town and finally found a parking place outside the New Capitol. Why was it so crowded on a Thursday morning, you ask? As it turns out, all the baby lawyers were being sworn in yesterday. "I just passed the bar!" the guy before me in the security line gleefully announced.

4) Headed up the road to Rebecca-Ruth Candy for a 9:30 a.m. tour and sample of the bourbon balls.

5) Drove north to Buffalo Trace for an 11 a.m. tour of the distillery. Now, I find the production end intriguing - I had the chance to see a couple of distilleries in Scotland last year - but I can't handle the finished product. Whiskey gives me a monstrous headache (and I'm not talking about a hangover - one taste of Johnny Red started the pounding). It's come to the point now where the smell can send up warning signals, so when we spent a good ten minutes inside one of the warehouses...yeah. At the end, the guide offered the three of us on the tour samples of Rain vodka and Buffalo Trace. The lady and I demurred from the bourbon initially, she because of some remnants of bourbon-inspired sickness in her misspent youth, me for the headache reason, but eventually we both tried it. I took a tiny sip, strongly recalled other whiskies of my past, and set it aside. "What happened?" my guide sadly asked. I had to explain that it was very nice, but that I simply couldn't handle it. Rain's not bad, though.

6) After the tour, I called a fellow I'd met at the wine bar the night before who works at the Salato Wildlife Education Center, and he arranged for his boss to show me around. Salato's neat - they have lots of hands-on exhibits, as the hordes of grade-school munchkins were demonstrating, and they keep animals out back. My favorites had to be the bears - sort of like big, deadly puppies, my guide and I concluded - and the wildcats. UK's mascot, Blue, lives there, as does a companion. They were curled up, dozing in the sun, when we walked by, looking for all the world like slightly overgrown housecats. Adorable.

7) By this time, it was past 1 p.m., so I headed back downtown for a quick lunch before touring the Old Capitol. Our guide was very nice, but the poor thing couldn't quite pronounce "yeoman" or "Marquis de Lafayette".

8) I thought I would check out a tea room before they closed, so I drove a few miles back out of town. They had, in fact, closed, but still got me a pot of tea. The place was cute, but had an overabundance of doilies.

9) Thirst quenched, I drove back to Frankfort and browsed the shops for a bit. By now, it was close to 4 p.m., my feet ached, and I was beat. I crashed in my room with one of A&E's crime shows in the background, then got up and did a bit of editing for a friend before heading out for dinner.

10) I had hit the best restaurant in town Wednesday night, so I was at a loss for dinner. I didn't want to eat in the hotel - it's sad to do that, and anyway, the prices were ridiculous - so I drove out to a seafood place on the river. At the wine bar, one of the restaurant's employees had warned me against it, but I was curious. Let's just say he was right. I don't want to sound snobby, but those were the most obviously pre-frozen shrimp I've ever eaten, including the ones I've defrosted myself.

11) Hunger satisfied but nose going nuts with its reintroduction to oak pollen, I took the long route home, then holed up with my computer and began making notes on Frankfort before finding my emergency pack of antihistamines and going to bed.

It's off for a brief stop in Danville this morning, then home, hopefully before the rental car place closes...